Tuesday 21 December 2010

Obligatory Christmas Octopus Guy

It's been a while but I thought I'd make an effort to post this christmassy little number as I drew it last year and didn't get it up in time. My Drawing skills have come on a little bit as I can't help but notice that the Octopus varies wildly in size. Anyway enjoy this little christmas treat.

Thursday 11 November 2010

Hitler Moustache


Just because someone has a Hitler moustache doesn’t mean they’re Hitler. In actual fact I think it’s called a toothbrush moustache so just because Hitler had a toothbrush moustache it doesn’t mean he was a tooth brush. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t though….. hmmm it’s worth looking into. It certainly would explain a lot.

Tuesday 9 November 2010

Harbor Master

If would like to lose your job by wasting all your work hours playing a computer game then you may be interested in some of these:
Harbor Master? Lose your job as a harbor master by playing ‘Harbor Master!’
Are you a farmer? Play ‘Farmville’ all day while letting your real crops wilt and your livestock starve!
Musician? Don’t practice on a real guitar, push the 4 coloured buttons in time to the music like a toddler, with ‘Rock band!’
Plumber? Who needs to learn a trade when you can eat mushrooms and jump through pipes with ‘Mario!’
Paranormal Investigator? Give up your day job Derek, who needs Yvette Fielding when you can hunt ghosts with ‘Pac-Man!’
Pigeon fancier? (not sure how much of a job this one is) play ‘Angry birds' and fling birds at pigs!
Unemployed? Enjoy the thrills of looking for a job without actually having to get a job with ‘The Sims!’
Ok so maybe I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel with some of those but still you get my point don’t you?
P.S. Scraping the barrel? Why not throw barrels instead by playing Donkey Kong!!!

Monday 8 November 2010

Halloween Party

Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
I watched Rosemary’s baby the other night and was a little disappointed. Until the end of course, when everyone started shouting ‘Hail Satan!’ at sporadic intervals. This was hilarious and made the whole 2 hours worth it. This drawing was supposed to be up in time for Halloween but as it turned out I had to make a Zombie Jesus costume for Halloween and you can’t really wear a comic to a Halloween party can you?

Friday 15 October 2010

The Creature from the Gay Lagoon

Having never seen The Creature from the Black Lagoon I don’t know too much about it. What I do know is that ‘The Creature’ looks ridiculously awesome especially for a man in a rubber suit. When it was first released it was shown in glorious two tone 3D pretty nifty eh? Word on the grapevine is that there’s a remake in the works (also 3D).
They should take the 3D a step further and do 4D, they could have cinema attendants throwing buckets of rancid swamp water over the audience and have the Gill Man burst from behind the screen and drag an unsuspecting female into the deep dark waters. The only thing that bothers me about ‘the creature’ is its’ fish lips. There’s nothing particularly scary about fish lips. Jaws never had fish lips and he had a 3D film too. ‘The creature’ seems more gross than scary. I wouldn’t want him to touch me because he’d make me all wet and smell all fishy. This is more of an inconvenience rather than something terrifying. More sort of something that would ruin your day as opposed to a vampire bite that would turn you into the living dead.

Thursday 14 October 2010

Communion

This scene would never happen because churches are filled with crosses and Dracula is allergic to them or something. I never quite figured why that was supposed to be. Do metal ones work or just wood? Do they have to have the wee bloke on it? Does crossing your finger work? Does Dracula just disaprove of organised religion? Is he jealous of all the attention jesus got for rising from the dead? Do Stars of David work? Is that why Jews wore them in concentration camps? To stop vampire's attacking them in their weakened state, turning them into the undead and starting a Yidish Vampire revolt against their Nazi oppressors? To be honest, I don't know.

Wednesday 13 October 2010

Tea Time

Most people drink tea about 8 times a day. I drink it about 8 times a year. If it's cold outside people say 'have a cup of cha it'll warm you up'. This I understand but the same people, on a hot summers day, say 'have a brew it'll cool you down'. Well which is it? Does it cool me down or warm me up? Although we all know that they already have made their mind up. It's both apparently, meaning they can squeeze even more cups of tea into the day than is humanly possible.

As a side note I would like to point out that my comic doesnt make sense. Not because it has a skeleton talking to a penguin but because penguins love fish. I would have thought that he would have gladly accepted either kettle of fish. Nom.

Monday 11 October 2010

Safety Inspector

As much as I like the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, it's still not a patch on the original.
Johnny Depp for all his epicness played Willy Wonka as some sort of retarded man-child as opposed to Gene Wilder who played him as a whimsical eccentric. I think the latter works better as Johnny Depp’s Wonka is one that I wouldn’t leave my kids alone with. Tim Burton also gave Wonka the added emotional baggage of having a cruel sweet hating dentist as a father, why does everyone have to have father issues or a father that was never there for them? Presumably Wonka’s father never came to his baseball games either. Also it’s best not to get me started on the Oompa Loompas and their inferior musical numbers.

Friday 8 October 2010

Gandalf the Douche

The thing you might not know about Gandalf the Grey from Lord of the Rings, is that he dabbled for a while as a driving instructor. You can see why he chose to realign his career down the path of wizardry. Not a great pass to fail ratio. In fact he was so terrible at it that he was banned from driving and has been forced into traveling by horse and cart as well as giant bird.
I drew this comic shortly after my sister Laura failed her driving test. So roughly 3 months ago, in which time she has retaken her test and passed so what I’m trying to say here is that my comics are nothing if not irrelevant.

Friday 1 October 2010

Frankenstein's Monster

Yay! Monsters! Man I love these guys. Frankenstein never gave his creation a name, something to do with rejecting his creation. I think this was probably the problem with the poor guy. He must have had some sort of personality disorder; after all he was stitched together from a number of different corpses, given the spark of life and then left without a name. How was he supposed to know who he really was ‘as a person’? The obvious thing to do is go on a murderous rampage so that you can ‘find yourself’ ideally do a bit of traveling while you’re at it. Talk to people of different cultures, see their point of view then rip out their still beating hearts and feast on the gooey insides. That’s what I would do anyway.
While doing a bit of internet snooping I found out that there is actually a castle Frankenstein in Germany and that it pre-dates the writing of Mary Shelly’s novel. Mary Shelly was only 18 when she wrote the book and 19 when it was published. It seems odd to me that someone so young could write a book beyond her years so I can only conclude that since that since the castle exists the story must be true. There is no other logical explanation. It is now our duty to track down the monster and give him a name and a national insurance number. I think you will find that he will integrate seamlessly into society and live a full and happy life.

Friday 24 September 2010

Al Gore-asaurus

This comic doesn’t make a whole lotta sense but I quite liked the drawing of the T-Rex and Mashers decided I should paint the Diplodocus Iron Man style.
People are all getting themselves in a funk about global warming and stuff but the dinosaurs never worried about it and they were in Jurassic Park. I like Jurassic Park, especially the second one which had the giant Stegosaurus in it. If I had a pet dinosaur I would choose a Triceratops or a Stegosaurus. I used to think I would have liked a Velociraptor but they might be difficult to train. They would probably eat my guts while I was still alive like Sam Neill said in JP1. Why’d he have to go and ruin it? Anyway we used to have an ice age and it got warmer so we no longer have an ice age but then ice age 2 came out and it was kinda crappy and then the 3rd one came out and it was worse so I don’t know how to fix the worlds problems but I do know that the image of me hurtling along the motorway on top of a Stegosaurus is pretty awesome, so someone should re-invent dinosaurs.

Tuesday 21 September 2010

Assault and Battery

Lucky for him he has a get out of jail free app. Not so luck for her.
I decided to update a few of my apps yesterday and because the interwebs cut off, my phone got stuck in a never ending cycle of trying to download updates. This meant that I couldn’t use any of the apps or stop them trying to update without the internet. So as went into the cinema my phone had 80% charge and as I left it had none. Well done apple, that’s a nice little feature ya got there. Its like some sorta app roulette. Either it works and everything’s awesome or it doesn’t and your phone is dead and you have to use your last 60p to phone for a lift home from the payphone at the train station.
“Hey buddy, how come you’re using a payphone? Don’t you have a mobile like everybody else?” someone would say.
“Oh yes of course, I have one of those fancy Iphones you read about on the television.” I’d reply
“Why don’t you use it then?”
“Um….because the battery’s dead.”
“Didn’t you charge it last night before you went to bed?”
“Of course, but it had to download the latest updates for angry birds and gowalla, I can’t just not download updates because I might have to make important calls later in the day!”
“Well, I ‘spose so, when you put it like that it makes sense.”
“Now I’ll just wait for my lift and listen to my Ipod”
“Doesn’t your Iphone have an Ipod in it?”
“Oh yeah… well I guess I’ll just buy a newspaper to read. I’m sure I had 60p on me somewhere.”

Monday 20 September 2010

Kiss and Make-up


I drew this comic after seeing Kiss in Dublin on the 7th of May. This will give you some idea of the back log of comics I have that are yet to be coloured and posted.
Every one has always made fun of Peter Criss for painting his face like a cat. What people don’t know is that ‘Catman’ was not his first choice. It was 1973 so you could just about get away with that kinda thing but being the shrewd business people that they were they decided against his first choice as they knew that it might be difficult to sell gollywog t-shirts and action figures in the future.

Monday 6 September 2010

Pixie Dust

Another long comic drought eh? I assure you there is no lack of comic geniusness to come just a lack of time lately to colour and post them. I aim to be somewhat more regular with them now that I’m based back in Belfast. This comic has a nice faerie lady who is sprinkling pixie dust on an unsuspecting child. The child did not ask to be set upon by some supernatural entity, flinging pixie dust everywhere, this is an obvious invasion of personal space and tantamount to some form of mythological rape and should be treated as such. 20 years in the slammer!
Also how come no one spells fairy with an ae any more? It’s not often that we get to pair up these 2 alphabetic cousins side by side like this, (there are plenty of ea’s but not so many ae’s) so I think we should kick that pretentious i to the curb with its self important dot and welcome back the Latin ae.

Upon reading up on this for my glorious ae revolution, I find that the ae had its own ligature, where the 2 letters were bonded together like eternal brothers and considered a letter their own right as they are in Norwegian or Icelandic, And that many words (like Faerie) had their ae’s untimely ripped form their very anatomy, for example Archeology used to be Archaeology. But all this is just a very long way of saying, if we spell Faeries correctly then maybe they won’t rape us with pixie dust.

Thursday 19 August 2010

E's

 
Aaaaaaaaagh! Long time no comics! Sorry I've not been posting these lovely comics for over a month now... been busy starting a new job and wrestling with the awesome power of the internet! It has an evil power over us all because knowledge is power and the internet has all the knowledge. Also it has the ability to display my comics....which is um...nice.....so um, thanks internet.

Wednesday 7 July 2010

Shakespeare


Shakespeare, Shakespeare, Shakespeare. He's that bloke that wrote the second series of blackadder, the one with Queenie in it. Revered thought all of England as 'the bald man with the plan'. The picture in the background is an actual picture of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in London so take that historical inaccuracy man! When reading about William (that's right, I'm on first name terms with the man) on wikipedia, 2 things struck me as odd.

1)Shakespeare (I made a faux pas and since England was at war with the french he put me back to last name terms) had a son called Hamnet. This proves he cant even spell the names of his own characters. My first son will be called Skeneton Boy in this tradition.

2) The only thing Shakespeare left his wife Anne Hathaway in his Will was his "Second best bed" (She's never referred to as Anne Shakespeare.....wonder why.)

Now, I only have ONE bed which I share with my girlfriend and I would assume she would get it when I die as she would still need somewhere to sleep. Why did he have a second bed? Did he have more than 2? Was there a third and fourth? Did he have a thing for beds? Is there a lost play somewhere about his love of beds? A sonnet perhaps? We will never know the madness that reigned supreme in Shakespeare's head but we do know that when it comes to his last will and testament, he was a bit of a douche.

PS: I find it amazing that I got through all that without some sort of lame 'two beds or not two beds' pun.

Sorry.

Tuesday 6 July 2010

Have a Heart


Hey everyone! It's Mung the zombie chum! And what a zombie chum he is too. My Brother, Girlfriend and I were in a zombie film once. George Clarke's home grown zombie movie 'The Knackery', which was filmed on a shoestring budget of £0.00. I had the enviable task of chewing a co star's ear off. Nom! You can see a trailer here (I'm not in the trailer more's the pity) and rent it from love film here.

Before I go I'll leave you with this amazing 1 star review from 'Peter Atkinson from North East'. North East of where we will never know... seems he may have been expecting some sort of 28 days later type affair what with a cast, choreography, a location, music and a budget.

"This has been given 1 star because I cannot give it zero. This is absolute garbage. The acting is wooden and the soundtrack appears to have been recorded on the kind of microphone that picks up every sound, in one scene you can even hear the ticking from the clock on the wall. As for the special effects, forget it, the blood looks like coloured water. Fight scenes, oh please, I have seen better in a playground. The reviewers that have given this 5 stars must be very easily pleased. I seriously urge you not to waste you time and money with this."

I'm proud to say I played a small part in ruining that guy's night....

Monday 5 July 2010

Ultrasound

Ultrasounds are weird, they sound like the noises that dolphins make to communicate with whales. Dolphins are actually extremely evil creatures. The 1973 movie 'Day of the Dolphin' can attest to this as it's tag line is "Unwittingly,he trained a dolphin to kill the president of the United States".
They should make a sequel which involves Barrack Obama defending the white house with a crack team of Killer whales....on crack.

Friday 2 July 2010

Notebook

About a month ago I found a dead bumble bee and decided I would start collecting insects and pin them down like in a museum. All the world would marvel at my vast collection of insect. I looked online for pins and boards and the like and got excited about my new venture into the natural sciences. I would be the new Charlie Darwin making observations on my specimen and become more enlightened and well rounded as a person. I would be invited to gala dinners with high society and talk about science and theology and whiskey.

After a week of this fanciful speculation on my future as a member of the royal society I promptly lost interest. That was a life I would never lead..... the bumble bee is still in a tupperware in my kitchen.

Monday 21 June 2010

Steers and Queers

This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun. In China they have discovered how to grow dinosaurs in test tubes. If America discovered how to do this they would open a theme park but because China is communist they aren't concerned with financial gain and have deployed them into the army.

Friday 18 June 2010

The 'C' word

It's been a while huh? Sorry but sometimes I have other things to do like make this EP cover.

It never occured to me that the 'C' word could mean anything other than a 4 letter word that is somehow worse than the other 4 letter word known only as 'F'. That was until my girlfriend's mum refered to cancer as the 'c' word. We should reinstate the 'c' word as the phrase for cancer as it's much scarier than the other thing....well at least a bit scarier. 

Tuesday 8 June 2010

A night out on Elm Street

When the parents of Elm street burned Mr Krueger in that furnace they did not know that it also contained seven  dozen discarded margarita pizzas. The subsequent fire that ensued casued Freddy to become the terrifying pizza creature that we all know and love. Delicious.

Friday 4 June 2010

Pokemons

Welcome to to the world's most 50th skeleton blog post! I thought it only appropriate that it featured the skeleton himself.

Pokemon is a weird game. You traverse the world and fight wild animals with your animals and then throw balls at them untill you capture them. You then force them to fight more animals until you are the animal master. It's a lot weirder if you replace the word pokemon with animal. Is there an RSPCA for pokemon? An RSPCP?

Thursday 3 June 2010

Athiest

Last weekend I saw a load of wee kids ( I believe that is the correct term for a group of kids, like a gaggle of geese, a murder or crows or a bastard of wasps) playing army. They had a a whole range of sophisticated weaponry including starwars blasters, western style revolvers, bits of wood with guns drawn them and my personal favorite the blue plastic AK47. This kid lorded over the rest with his perfect replica of the red army favorite which was perfect in every detail except that it was a garish bright blue (except for the brown handle). Why didn't they make toys like that in my day, you can stick your fisher price, your action man even your (god forbid) Lego, I want me a bright blue Kalashnikov! Now, what was this comic about again.....?

Wednesday 2 June 2010

The new guy

They always pick on the new guy. Not when the new guy is a ten foot scaley monster from the cretaceous period though! I bet they show him the respect that a trainee photocopier, who only works half days and gets every alternate wednesday off, deserves. Workers Unite!

P.S. I bet he has a really long and interesting commute to work.

Tuesday 1 June 2010

Tolerance

How come old people get away with murder? I suppose we can forgive a bit of casual racism when we know that they will soon be shedding this mortal coil. Maybe it's that we would like to be shown the same courtesy when we become old and mad as a box of spiders. Control of ones faculitys is a fair price to pay for the chance to unleash your inner deamons on the world via your mouth hole.

Friday 28 May 2010

Hard times

Times are hard in the hundred acre wood, not even pooh has been sheltered by the recession…still it’s a bit of a surprise that a pig living in the same place as a bear and a tiger didn't get eaten before. Christopher Robin will never be the same again. This picture makes me think of pooh and tigger as cannibals but they're just doing what comes naturaly I suppose….bears aren't meant to live soley on honey and I'm pretty sure tigger lived on roo's medicine, roast suckling piglet is a meal that has been long coming. Tiddly-pom. Tiddly-pom.

Thursday 27 May 2010

Tattoo

My brother Chris recently got a tattoo of Skeleton Boy in honour of his favorite blog. If only everyone had his dedication. You can see a picture of said piece of art here. It's so awesome you would swear that I'd drawn it myself (which I did).


Wednesday 26 May 2010

Nesquik

Nesquik is delicious but it does look like rabbit droppings. Does the rabbit on the box poop out chocolate cereal? If so I will catch him and feed him only chocolate so that he poops out extra chocolatey cereal for me to nom on. I will breed him with the coco pops monkey and create a hybrid cereal of chocolatey awesomeness!!!! I will serve it in a bowl made out of shreddies and be hailed as the new kelloggs Huzzah!

Monday 24 May 2010

Monster Mash

Does any one remember the monster mash? Well I do, and it was awesome. When was the last time a vampire offered you some mashed potato?

Friday 21 May 2010

The Congo


Umbongo! Umbongo! They drink it in the Congo!
Monkeys like boxes of juice, end of story. I like the way Americans call them boxes, it makes them seem more special.
People don't really carry liquids in boxes much, except juice. If you go to the congo you will see monkeys drinking juice from boxes. Fact!

Wednesday 19 May 2010

Never work with children or animals

Who doesn't love The Wizard of Oz? Who dosent have nightmares about the flying monkeys? And the Munchkins? Also who doesn't want to punch the 'cowardly lion' square in the mouth? They just dont make them like they used to.

Tuesday 18 May 2010

French Fries

Who Doesnt love french fries? They are delicious and salty (two of my favorite flavours). Which is best though? Kentucky, McDonalds, Burger King? Thats only if we take the awesome power of the KFC chicken gravy out of the equation........mmmmmm......KFC gravy.

Monday 17 May 2010

Scape Goat

How come if something like a volcano goes off or ahurricane wrecks a house its called an act of God? Wouldn't it seem more appropriate to call it an act of Satan? Or if it is an act of God would you not be able to sue God for damages? Also isnt everything an act of God? If some one crashes a car isnt God the one that let that happen by not interviening when he could? He could save insurance companys millions by just stopping all accidents..........my head hurts.
Fun fact: 'scape goat' comes from times when people sacrificed goats as penance for sins and such.... aren't I just full of information?

Wednesday 12 May 2010

Treasure Hunt

This comic's inspired by my girlfriend Mashers who was cleaning our cats litter tray and likened it to 'The Saddest Treasure Hunt Ever'. I think you could make this job more bearable by feeding your cat vast amounts of glitter so that it has sparkley poops but there's probably a law against feeding arts and crafts material to household pets.

Monday 10 May 2010

Acupuncture


Apparently acupuncture isn't even a real thing but cactus are, so that's good. Cactus remind me of Mexico and burritos which are awesome. Speaking of burritos I went to chiquitos last Friday and would highly recommend it. NOM!

Thursday 6 May 2010

Ninja

It occured to me that people in movies are always climbing through air vents. And not only are these vents big and strong enough to hold a man, they lead to even the most secretest of places in the building. Convenient.

Wednesday 5 May 2010

Out of Business

As far as I can recall that’s Himmler on the right, he looks like a bit of a douche doesn't he? So does Hitler. I think we can all agree that Hitler and Himmler were both douches and Goebbels was a little rat thing. I found out recently from BBC news that the russians found hitlers body and buried it in a forrest, then during the cold war they dug it up and burnt it. Oh those pesky russians!

Monday 3 May 2010

Family planning

Is there anyone who actually liked Miss Piggy? I think kermit dodged a bullet here no one wants to see hideous pig-frogs babys. Well actually i think I would but not if they were related to Miss Piggy.

Friday 30 April 2010

Dress up

Posted by Picasa
Todays comic celebrates the release of of Iron Man 2, which should be an action packed romp. Unfortunately since drawing this comic, I've since seen Russell Howard dressed in an Iron Costume as Iron man. Still I never claimed I was original. Saturday 1st of May is free comic book day too so if you go to www.comicdomain.co.uk you can pick up a free Iron man comic amonst other freebies, all you gotta do is pay postage :) You can thank me later.

Thursday 29 April 2010

First Impressions

 
Is it just me or are giraffes like modern day diplodocus? They got that whole long neck thing goin' on…..
For more animal or dinosaur comics click the lable below or check out some of the other comics from the lables listed in the right hand column of the page.

Tuesday 27 April 2010

Just good friends

 
My girlfriend ashley kindly pointed out to me after I'd drawn and coloured this one that boy dogs dont go into heat. Sometimes you can know too much....and anyway he's a wolf man so who knows what crazy reproductive cycles they have?

Magic Beans

Not much to say about todays comic other than ENJOY!
I wouldn't have trusted anyone with a beard the same colour as their face so its really his own fault. Dont do drugs kids. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Sunday 25 April 2010

No Room

I guess we know what happened to all those dinosaurs then. God felt guilty about drowning them all so he left them outta the bible. Dinosaur holocaust probably wouldn't be the best start for the greatest story ever told. Click the lable below for more Religion comics.

Consequences

Well if you're gonna prance about in a world where anything can happen then I guess anything can happen. This one literaly took all day. Prompted by the release of a certain Alice in Wonderland themed movie. To see more 'movie' based comics click the label below.


Wednesday 21 April 2010

Indiana Jerk

 
Indiana Jerk and the museum of already collected objects. This might actually make a more interesting movie than Indy 4. This comic features my unflinching jesus drawing skills as well as a quite spiffy sarcophagus. Click the picture to see it in its full glory.

Tuesday 20 April 2010

Baptism

Inspired by my brother Gary's baptism, it must be noted that he is not actually a baby. Although he did wear a giant babygrow for halloween....click the religion label below for more religion based strips.

Monday 19 April 2010

Tele-tummy

Teletubbies are pretty weird, i'm not sure how they managed to actually get on tv as a kids programme. It was strangely hypnotic though. Still if I have to have a TV licence so should they. It is shown on the Big Brittish Castle after all 

Amish life

Fun Fact! Because the Amish believe that only god can make people their dolls don't have faces. Is it just me or is that really creepy? Still at least they have tetris (but no super mario supposedly?). Click the 'Religion tag below for more 'religion' based comix.