Monday 21 June 2010

Steers and Queers

This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun. In China they have discovered how to grow dinosaurs in test tubes. If America discovered how to do this they would open a theme park but because China is communist they aren't concerned with financial gain and have deployed them into the army.

Friday 18 June 2010

The 'C' word

It's been a while huh? Sorry but sometimes I have other things to do like make this EP cover.

It never occured to me that the 'C' word could mean anything other than a 4 letter word that is somehow worse than the other 4 letter word known only as 'F'. That was until my girlfriend's mum refered to cancer as the 'c' word. We should reinstate the 'c' word as the phrase for cancer as it's much scarier than the other thing....well at least a bit scarier. 

Tuesday 8 June 2010

A night out on Elm Street

When the parents of Elm street burned Mr Krueger in that furnace they did not know that it also contained seven  dozen discarded margarita pizzas. The subsequent fire that ensued casued Freddy to become the terrifying pizza creature that we all know and love. Delicious.

Friday 4 June 2010


Welcome to to the world's most 50th skeleton blog post! I thought it only appropriate that it featured the skeleton himself.

Pokemon is a weird game. You traverse the world and fight wild animals with your animals and then throw balls at them untill you capture them. You then force them to fight more animals until you are the animal master. It's a lot weirder if you replace the word pokemon with animal. Is there an RSPCA for pokemon? An RSPCP?

Thursday 3 June 2010


Last weekend I saw a load of wee kids ( I believe that is the correct term for a group of kids, like a gaggle of geese, a murder or crows or a bastard of wasps) playing army. They had a a whole range of sophisticated weaponry including starwars blasters, western style revolvers, bits of wood with guns drawn them and my personal favorite the blue plastic AK47. This kid lorded over the rest with his perfect replica of the red army favorite which was perfect in every detail except that it was a garish bright blue (except for the brown handle). Why didn't they make toys like that in my day, you can stick your fisher price, your action man even your (god forbid) Lego, I want me a bright blue Kalashnikov! Now, what was this comic about again.....?

Wednesday 2 June 2010

The new guy

They always pick on the new guy. Not when the new guy is a ten foot scaley monster from the cretaceous period though! I bet they show him the respect that a trainee photocopier, who only works half days and gets every alternate wednesday off, deserves. Workers Unite!

P.S. I bet he has a really long and interesting commute to work.

Tuesday 1 June 2010


How come old people get away with murder? I suppose we can forgive a bit of casual racism when we know that they will soon be shedding this mortal coil. Maybe it's that we would like to be shown the same courtesy when we become old and mad as a box of spiders. Control of ones faculitys is a fair price to pay for the chance to unleash your inner deamons on the world via your mouth hole.