Wednesday, 20 March 2019

Big Plans


If I was Jesus I would have been pretty annoyed that I'd just been sent down to earth to die. I'd mostly be annoyed that they cut out most of my life from the bible. He goes from being a baby to being an adult. Thats the interesting bit we can call identify with. What was he like as a child? What were his puberty years like? The fact they left it out makes me think that he was probably ridin' all round him. Smoking cigs behind the mule shed, throwing stones at sinners as if he was without sin. Where's all that juicy stuff huh?

Tuesday, 12 February 2019

Damn Dirty Apes

Taylor tells damn dirty apes to get their stinkin' paws off of him

Have you ever been to a zoo where there were only humans? Sometimes in times of great hardship, zoos will have humans in the enclosures dressed in animal onesies instead of real animals. It's much cheaper and means that they can let them out at night to go home and have a nice feed and a warm bed. Some zoos make the humans draw lots the next day to see who gets to be which animal. This practice was the inspiration for The Bloodhound Gang's music video for The Bad Touch.

Beauty and the Deceased

Belle holding a dying beast

That Gaston's something else isn't he? All those muscles, that big gun. And what about The Beast? He's so tall and rugged.  I think we all know who the real beast is in this fairy tale. It's The Beast obviously. He's the only one that is a literal beast.

A Good Idea


I think my favourite monster is the little maroon one. The one with the wee pants. It's important to protect a monster's modesty when drawing them. When he posed for me he was naked of course. It's kind of expected of life models. I thought it best to use a bit of artistic license and cover up his doodah though.

Humble Beginnings

Jesus' humbly preaching his sermon on the mount

I remember Jesus's birthday like it was yesterday. I had a donkey ride and fell off and broke my toe. Oh how he laughed. I laughed too, thinking he would just perform a birthday miracle and fix it for me. He didn't though. He just kept laughing and trying on different hats from the dressing up box.

IKEA

Two guys picking up girls at IKEA furniture store

Have you ever been to IKEA? I have. It sure is super. There's all kinds of things on sale there that are already in pieces. Think of the time it saves you breaking furniture over a period of months and years. You can just buy it already broken and take it straight to the dump!