Monday 26 November 2012

Single White Female

It always seemed weird to me that Snow White woke from her sleep with a kiss from a stranger….seems a bit rapey to me. What’s that saying ‘unless she says YES it’s a NO’. That doesn’t seem to apply here. Maybe it was ‘kiss first, ask questions later’ or ‘blink once for YES and twice for double YES’. If I was wondering round the forest and I came across a comatose princess, I wouldn’t be rushing across the undergrowth to cop a feel (my other half would have something to say about that for a start), I’d be calling an ambulance or I’d finish digging that shallow grave and get the hell out of there.

Monday 19 November 2012

Freddy vs Eczema

Freddy Kruger was originally intended as pedophile but Wes Craven decided against this to ' avoid being accused of exploiting the spate of highly publicized child molestation cases in California around the time A Nightmare on Elm Street went into production'. This was a wise idea because as much as we need villains in horror movies, we're all really hoping that he catches up with his victims and brutally murders them for our entertainment. This doesn't exactly work the same with a child molester. For some reason it's harder to secretly root for the bad guy when you know he's in with Jimmy Saville* Also as a side note, Robert Englund was on 'Come dine with me' recently and he made cheese on toast. Legend. 

*This Saville reference was sponsored by the foundation of worn out jokes.

Monday 12 November 2012

Weird Science

The reason that the tele-pods from 'The Fly' as a mode of transport would never be commercially viable is that you would have to travel to work naked each morning. I don't think people would be comfortable arriving each day at the office with their business all hanging out. 'Morning Johnson!', 'Morning sir!', 'Cold out today I see!'.

The only time it wouldn't matter i suppose is for Porn Stars and Glamour models. It's pretty much their job to be naked so it would actually save them a bit of hassle getting ready in the morning, just to take it all off again. Some how I don't think Seth Brundle created the tele-pods so that porn stars could get to work hassle free.

Monday 5 November 2012


Harry Potter's world has changed since the movies became a hit. It's now all commercial and filled with fast food resteraunts and coffee houses, luckily Harry loves fast food and coffee so he's not bothered. My favorite bit in the movies was when Harry Potter had to go and see Gandalf in the headmaster's office with all the other hobbits and they discussed whether to make The Hobbit into 2 movies or 3.

Here's a little insight as to Harry Potter's contribution to the world of  'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' just for the luls. There's a nice little picture of Hogswarts burnt to the ground and a burnt out Thomas the Tank Engine too.