Monday 23 November 2015

Kylo Ren

I had a wee watch of Ren and Stimpy on youtube there and it's pretty messed up even by Sponge Bob standards. I get the impression they didn't think anyone would see it so the writers and animators just did their own thing. Star Wars is coming and unlike Ren and Stimpy, the world will be watching. Hopefully it's the mouthwash for the prequels we've all been waiting for.

Monday 16 November 2015

Gun Show

Sun's out, gun's out bro! If you want to have muscles like Hulk then all you need is my patented 'Hulk Bulk Abs' program available on 4 DVDs for the one time offer price of $39.99! The DVDs help you work out 'til you Hulk out! 4 DVDs for $39.99 what an amazing offer I hear you say but wait, there's more! Not only do you get the DVDs which is everything you need, you also get my 'Mean Greens' diet book which is surplus to requirements! Not Convinced yet? Order now and get a free industrial oil drum full of Whey Protien! You'll be smashing up shopping malls and destroying apartment blocks in no time with your new amazing dump truck sized muscles!

Monday 24 August 2015

Number One Dad

It's hard to be a good dad but even if he had got his son a rubix cube I don't think the kid would have had a much better birthday. A rubix cube is an awful gift. We used to have a knock off rubix cube when we were young. As far as I remember it had coloured stickers instead of coloured plastic squares. We just removed the stickers and stuck them on again to make it look like we'd done it.  While checking out pictures of Pinhead from Hellraiser I came across Clive Barkers inspiration for the Cenobite's design. Apparently he drew inspiration 'from punk fashion, Catholicism and by the visits he took to SM clubs in New York and Amsterdam'. Nice mixture.

Monday 22 June 2015


Here's a handy guide to mints. It's not completely comprehensive but its got all the good ones. Did you know that catnip is a mint? I didn't. There's your fact for today now, go away.

Monday 15 June 2015

Malcolm Rex.

I spent so long wondering if I could attach Jeff Goldblum's head to a dinosaur that I never stopped to think if I should. I was watching behind the scenes videos of Jurassic Park the other day and discovered that they had to make a life size animatronic T-Rex which is quite frankly the most awesome thing ever. It's so different from the CGI dinosaur effects in Jurassic World. I suppose thats why it still holds up today. Thankfully Jurassic World is a good movie though. You can read my review here. It's spoiler free.

Monday 8 June 2015


Bruce Jenner only wants to be a woman so that he can do the decathlon at the Olympics in Rio next year. It's no coincidence that she's changed sex just in time to put in some hours training and get all those meds out of her system.

Monday 1 June 2015


Ever been on holiday? I have. It's great. I went to Spain once and there were all these spanish people there. Why would Spanish people go to Spain on their holidays? Same reason as me I suppose.

Monday 18 May 2015

Droid Baby

I like BB-8. He looks like a fun guy. He looks like the kind of guy you could go for cocktails with.... and then drink all the cocktails because he doesn't have a mouth. Free cocktails and you  get to hang out with a droid.  It's a win win situation.

Monday 11 May 2015

Tokyo's Secret

I arrived home from Japan a couple of weeks ago and speaking with the authority of someone who has been in Tokyo for 3 days, I can say for certain that Tokyo's lights are powered by Pokemon. I barely saw a single live Pokemon when I was there so I can only conclude that they are all underground. The Diglets dig the tunnels, Pikachus power the generators, Gyarados keeps the water running to the high tech toilets and Lapras is obviously on loan to Scotland's Loch Ness in exchange for the secrets of their Whisky.
Whoa Nessy.
Whoa Lapras

Monday 4 May 2015

Avengers Script Meeting

The new biggest film in the world has just been released. I heard that Age of Ultron make at least 20 billion in it's first hour. That may or may not be true. I liked it but it just seemed like over kill. Every scene was just constant fighting and blowing up to the point where I didn't really care. I'm Guessing it's Michael Bay's favourite Marvel film. There were some great bits involving Thor's hammer and anything with the Vision. James Spader as Ultron was great. There just seemed like there wasn't enough story. They added Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch but in such a way that you don't really care about them. Am I looking forward to seeing more of them in the next film?  Meh. Maybe it's one of those films that gets better with a second watch. Maybe it just seems a let down because the first one was so great.

Monday 27 April 2015

Casual Racism

This particular comic doesn't really say anything about racism. I'm pretty sure white power dudes wouldn't find it offensive. Thats what I'm going for now. Really broad comedy. Even my comics on racism no longer take a stance on the subject for fear of offending people on either side of the racism divide. Is racism good? Is racism bad? That's not for me to decide. Everyone's opinion is valid and should be respected. So please enjoy this comic which in no way provokes any kind of debate on it's subject.

Monday 20 April 2015


The trailer for the new Batman vs Superman film is out. You can see it here among other places.
A crappy version leaked last week so Warner Brothers popped the HD version online. It's all dark and moody and there's Daredevil dressed as Batman dressed as a robot. So check it out for yourself.

Monday 2 March 2015

Polar Bear

I wanted to put a penguin in this picture but penguins live at the south pole. They also live in zoos though but its usually in separate enclosures. I decided to leave the penguin out for realism. I like to keep it real.

Monday 23 February 2015

50 Shades

It's been quite the while since my last post. I've been busy buying a house and organising a wedding so you can cut me some slack. 50 Shades of Grey is a thing now I guess. People seem to love it as much as Tom Cruise loves running. The world loves it because this rich dude makes this lady his sex slave or something and theres whips and dirty things in it. She has to do what he says in the bedroom or else he wont buy her 'Tess of the D'urbervilles' or something. To be honest I haven't read it or seen the movie so I cant really judge. I looked it up on wikipedia though and found the following:

 'Ana is instantly attracted to Christian, but also finds him intimidating. As a result, she stumbles through the interview and leaves Christian's office believing it went badly. Ana consoles herself by thinking they will never meet again. However, Christian appears at the hardware store where she works. While he purchases various items including cable ties, masking tape and rope'.

This to me sounds like the opening scene to some sort of torture porn horror film like 'Saw', rather than a horrible porn-torture film like 50 Shades. The fact she works in a hardware store (a sexy hardware store?) just makes me think of Weird Al and his awesome 'Hardware Store' song. Heres a link to it on you tube with a music video comprised of My Little Pony clips.  I'd like to discuss how weird this whole video is and the fact that there are grown men called 'Bronies who love and follow the show but theres a documentary on Netflix about that. Enjoy your smut and ponies folks, I'm off to bed.