Organic Produce

Organic vegetables just sound wrong to me. It makes me think of organs, which is not usually a selling point for vegetables. Penn and Teller did an episode of ‘Bullshit’ on Organic food where they had a tasting stall with 2 plates with some banana on them. One was Organic and one was normal and they were labeled as such. Various people then came over and tried a piece of each and were asked for their thoughts. I can’t remember the actual words they used but the general consensus was that the ‘Organic’ banana was far nicer than the regular one. It was fresher, tastier, had a more ‘banana-y’ flavour. It tasted healthier and the normal one didn’t taste quite up to scratch. So there you have it. In a taste test organic comes out top. It even tastes better and is better for you! End of story!

Editor’s note: Before they began the experiment Penn and Teller cut a regular banana in two and put half on the plate labeled normal and the other half on the plate labeled Organic.

Skeleton Boy at the Olympics: Archery

Well that's the end of the Olympics. Everyone can go back to talking about football. 

I’ll leave you with and excerpt from the Wikipedia page for the 3rd Olympic games held in 1904 in St Louis, USA. I think you’ll agree that if anything the London 2012 Olympics where better than this……… although it depends on your definition of better I suppose. London’s weren’t quite so funny.

‘The marathon was the most bizarre event of the Games. It was run in brutally hot weather, over dusty roads, with horses and automobiles clearing the way and creating dust clouds. The first to arrive at the finish line was Frederick Lorz, who actually rode the rest of the way in a car to retrieve his clothes, after dropping out after nine miles. The car broke down at the 19th mile, so he re-entered the race and jogged back to the finish line. When the officials thought he had won the race, Lorz played along with his practical joke until he was found out shortly after the medal ceremony and was banned for a year by the AAU for this stunt, later winning the 1905 Boston Marathon.

The marathon included the first two black Africans to compete in the Olympics: two Tswana tribesmen named Len Tau (real name: Len Taunyane) and Yamasani (real name: Jan Mashiani). They were not in St. Louis to compete in the Olympics, however; they were actually part of the sideshow. They had been brought over by the exposition as part of the Boer War exhibit (both were really students from Orange Free State in South Africa, but this fact was not made known to the public). Len Tau finished ninth and Yamasani came in twelfth. This was a disappointment, as many observers were sure Len Tau could have done better if he had not been chased nearly a mile off course by aggressive dogs.’

Skeleton Boy at the Olympics: Equestrian

Horse Riding is a weird sport for the Olympics. It’s basically a test to see who can train the best horses. It’s like Krufts but with horses. The thing is though, the horses don’t have to be from the country competing. So France could have a German horse winning a medal for France! Mental! I think each country should have to enter an indigenous animal to ride on instead. The Indians could have Elephants, the Spanish could have Bulls and the Chinese could have Pandas! Oh the Pageantry! Here come the Scotts riding their enormous Haggis! Hurrah! 

 

Skeleton Boy at the Olympics: 100 Metres

So Usain Bolt has won the 100 metres and claimed the Olympic Gold. What fun. His last name is Bolt and people seem to think that with a name like that he was preordained to be ace at running. This doesn’t make a lot of sense though. Perhaps if his name was Thomas Swift, Jimmy Runrealfast or John Speed, it would make sense (although the latter would imply that he should have rigorous drugs testing). If the name Bolt suggests anything it’s that he’s a thunder god like Zeus or Thor. Perhaps the bolt in his name alludes to the fact that he’s some kind of Frankenstein’s monster, although he doesn’t have bolts in his neck so that doesn’t make sense. I guess we’ll just have to settle for the fact that in Jamaica ‘Bolt’ is a surname and Usain happens to have it……

Skeleton Boy at the Olympics: Swimming

Word on the street is that some Chinese teenager beat everyone at swimming the other day. I have a limited knowledge of swimming or indeed any sport so I'm just going to say that she got a gold medal for the 'Froggy Paddle' event. Everyone's up in arms speculating that she's a 'doper' (is dope the best drug to be taken when going swimming anyway?) and has only won because she's obviously on drugs. Her swim was described as 'disturbing' by one onlooker who may or may not have something to do with the 'Swimming and Banana Boating Association of America'. Well all I can say is that she may not be on drugs but she IS definitely a creation of China's aggressive 'Superhuman Olympic Cloning Program for the Promotion of Communisim, th Destruction of Sporting Rivals and the Enslavement of Tibet' or SOCPPCDSRET as it's called for short. (It looks snappier in Chinese writing). I know all this because I saw the 'Made in China' sticker on her foot.

I would also like to add that chinese food is among the most delicious in the world.......excluding dog.

Mumblecore

Well I saw 'The Dark Knight Rises' the other day and thought it was pretty good. I didn't want to be bothered seeing it in the cinema, what with gun toting maniacs on the loose, so I decided to download an illegal copy from the inter webs. My favourite part was when they had to try and get Batman back to his home planet but all the FBI dudes where chasing them and Batman had to sit in the basket in the front of the bat-bike and he made it fly past the moon with his magical finger. I liked his little red hoody better than his last costume too. A bit more practical than having a big flappy cape. All in all I'd give it an 8 out of 10 if only for the fact that Bane was no where to be seen and I'm pretty sure I saw him in the trailer. Maybe he was on the spaceship somewhere and didn't want to get off as he'd get his feet wet.

Skeleton Boy at the Olympics: Boxing

Well the Olympics officially starts today. London 2012 and all that. What I can't figure out is why they've had some football matches already? why have an opening ceremony on a Friday if you're gonna start the games beforehand? Not only that but they showed South Korea's flag instead of North Korea's flag and the North Koreans refused to play for about an hour, the equivalent of taking your ball and going home, except your home is on another continent so you might as well stay and play. Still bit of a faux pas, eh? Something tells me that little fella that replaced Kim Jong Il would start a nuclear war over less. I have included a picture for reference.

Floor Spiders

Ok folks it's time for some spider facts!

1. Spiders are the number one food source for orphaned children in New South Wales

2. Lesbians are immune to spider bites. No matter how many bites they get, they won't even notice. This doesn't stop them being afraid of them.

3. The biggest spiders in the world are found in the Antarctic and feed mostly on penguin eggs.

4. The giant spider 'Shelob' (click for video) from Lord of the Rings is the same one that lives in my shed.

5. The forrest dwelling spiders in the Harry Potter movies are played by the same spiders from Arachnophobia.

6. Jeff Daniels auditioned for the spider in the TV adaptation of Charlotte's web.

7. A house spider's favourite biscuit is the Hobnob. Money spiders prefer Viscounts.

8. Spider-man is a fictional character and is not actually a spider.

Children's Illustrated Bible

I always wanted to be a children's bible illustrator. Specifically only illustrating works of biblical fiction. This was until I found out that you couldn't add any artistic licence. Dinosaurs eating Adam and eve was visually stunning but frowned upon. If you're going to go to all that bother teaching kids that the world is 6000 years old and that 2 of every kind of animal in the world could fit on a boat, why not have a dragon in a sailor suit as the captain? If you're going to have Jesus walk on water why not have him in a top hat and tails with a magic wand and a scantily clad assistant? When you have Jesus come back from the dead, why not have him in full flesh rotting zombie glory!

Game of Game of Thrones

Well Now that Game of Thrones season 2 is over there's not a lot going on of a Monday night. I was expecting Ned Stark to return to the series atop a fire engine riding through the gates of hell, but alas they decided to stay more faithful to the books. My favourite character is Peter Dinklage's Tyron Lannister. Not because he's a midget but because he's a dwarf, (they didn't have midgets back then or wherever it's set). Well I hope you like the comic, I'll leave you with a little factoid though. Whilst Sean Bean played Ned Stark in the TV show, in the book he was played by Michael Palin! Bizarre!

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