Al Gore-asaurus

This comic doesn’t make a whole lotta sense but I quite liked the drawing of the T-Rex and Mashers decided I should paint the Diplodocus Iron Man style.

People are all getting themselves in a funk about global warming and stuff but the dinosaurs never worried about it and they were in Jurassic Park. I like Jurassic Park, especially the second one which had the giant Stegosaurus in it. If I had a pet dinosaur I would choose a Triceratops or a Stegosaurus. I used to think I would have liked a Velociraptor but they might be difficult to train. They would probably eat my guts while I was still alive like Sam Neill said in JP1. Why’d he have to go and ruin it? Anyway we used to have an ice age and it got warmer so we no longer have an ice age but then ice age 2 came out and it was kinda crappy and then the 3rd one came out and it was worse so I don’t know how to fix the worlds problems but I do know that the image of me hurtling along the motorway on top of a Stegosaurus is pretty awesome, so someone should re-invent dinosaurs.

Assault and Battery

Lucky for him he has a get out of jail free app. Not so luck for her.

I decided to update a few of my apps yesterday and because the interwebs cut off, my phone got stuck in a never ending cycle of trying to download updates. This meant that I couldn’t use any of the apps or stop them trying to update without the internet. So as went into the cinema my phone had 80% charge and as I left it had none. Well done apple, that’s a nice little feature ya got there. Its like some sorta app roulette. Either it works and everything’s awesome or it doesn’t and your phone is dead and you have to use your last 60p to phone for a lift home from the payphone at the train station.

“Hey buddy, how come you’re using a payphone? Don’t you have a mobile like everybody else?” someone would say.
“Oh yes of course, I have one of those fancy Iphones you read about on the television.” I’d reply
“Why don’t you use it then?”
“Um….because the battery’s dead.”
“Didn’t you charge it last night before you went to bed?”
“Of course, but it had to download the latest updates for angry birds and gowalla, I can’t just not download updates because I might have to make important calls later in the day!”
“Well, I ‘spose so, when you put it like that it makes sense.”
“Now I’ll just wait for my lift and listen to my Ipod”
“Doesn’t your Iphone have an Ipod in it?”
“Oh yeah… well I guess I’ll just buy a newspaper to read. I’m sure I had 60p on me somewhere.”

Kiss and Make-up

I drew this comic after seeing Kiss in Dublin on the 7th of May. This will give you some idea of the back log of comics I have that are yet to be coloured and posted.
Every one has always made fun of Peter Criss for painting his face like a cat. What people don’t know is that ‘Catman’ was not his first choice. It was 1973 so you could just about get away with that kinda thing but being the shrewd business people that they were they decided against his first choice as they knew that it might be difficult to sell gollywog t-shirts and action figures in the future.

Pixie Dust

Another long comic drought eh? I assure you there is no lack of comic geniusness to come just a lack of time lately to colour and post them. I aim to be somewhat more regular with them now that I’m based back in Belfast. This comic has a nice faerie lady who is sprinkling pixie dust on an unsuspecting child. The child did not ask to be set upon by some supernatural entity, flinging pixie dust everywhere, this is an obvious invasion of personal space and tantamount to some form of mythological rape and should be treated as such. 20 years in the slammer!

Also how come no one spells fairy with an ae any more? It’s not often that we get to pair up these 2 alphabetic cousins side by side like this, (there are plenty of ea’s but not so many ae’s) so I think we should kick that pretentious i to the curb with its self important dot and welcome back the Latin ae.

Upon reading up on this for my glorious ae revolution, I find that the ae had its own ligature, where the 2 letters were bonded together like eternal brothers and considered a letter their own right as they are in Norwegian or Icelandic, And that many words (like Faerie) had their ae’s untimely ripped form their very anatomy, for example Archeology used to be Archaeology. But all this is just a very long way of saying, if we spell Faeries correctly then maybe they won’t rape us with pixie dust.

E's

 

Aaaaaaaaagh! Long time no comics! Sorry I've not been posting these lovely comics for over a month now... been busy starting a new job and wrestling with the awesome power of the internet! It has an evil power over us all because knowledge is power and the internet has all the knowledge. Also it has the ability to display my comics....which is um...nice.....so um, thanks internet.

Shakespeare

Shakespeare, Shakespeare, Shakespeare. He's that bloke that wrote the second series of blackadder, the one with Queenie in it. Revered thought all of England as 'the bald man with the plan'. The picture in the background is an actual picture of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in London so take that historical inaccuracy man! When reading about William (that's right, I'm on first name terms with the man) on wikipedia, 2 things struck me as odd.

1)Shakespeare (I made a faux pas and since England was at war with the french he put me back to last name terms) had a son called Hamnet. This proves he cant even spell the names of his own characters. My first son will be called Skeneton Boy in this tradition.

2) The only thing Shakespeare left his wife Anne Hathaway in his Will was his "Second best bed" (She's never referred to as Anne Shakespeare.....wonder why.)

Now, I only have ONE bed which I share with my girlfriend and I would assume she would get it when I die as she would still need somewhere to sleep. Why did he have a second bed? Did he have more than 2? Was there a third and fourth? Did he have a thing for beds? Is there a lost play somewhere about his love of beds? A sonnet perhaps? We will never know the madness that reigned supreme in Shakespeare's head but we do know that when it comes to his last will and testament, he was a bit of a douche.

PS: I find it amazing that I got through all that without some sort of lame 'two beds or not two beds' pun.

Sorry.

Have a Heart

Hey everyone! It's Mung the zombie chum! And what a zombie chum he is too. My Brother, Girlfriend and I were in a zombie film once. George Clarke's home grown zombie movie 'The Knackery', which was filmed on a shoestring budget of £0.00. I had the enviable task of chewing a co star's ear off. Nom! You can see a trailer here (I'm not in the trailer more's the pity) and rent it from love film here.

Before I go I'll leave you with this amazing 1 star review from 'Peter Atkinson from North East'. North East of where we will never know... seems he may have been expecting some sort of 28 days later type affair what with a cast, choreography, a location, music and a budget.

"This has been given 1 star because I cannot give it zero. This is absolute garbage. The acting is wooden and the soundtrack appears to have been recorded on the kind of microphone that picks up every sound, in one scene you can even hear the ticking from the clock on the wall. As for the special effects, forget it, the blood looks like coloured water. Fight scenes, oh please, I have seen better in a playground. The reviewers that have given this 5 stars must be very easily pleased. I seriously urge you not to waste you time and money with this."

I'm proud to say I played a small part in ruining that guy's night....

Ultrasound

Ultrasounds are weird, they sound like the noises that dolphins make to communicate with whales. Dolphins are actually extremely evil creatures. The 1973 movie 'Day of the Dolphin' can attest to this as it's tag line is "Unwittingly,he trained a dolphin to kill the president of the United States".
They should make a sequel which involves Barrack Obama defending the white house with a crack team of Killer whales....on crack.

Notebook

About a month ago I found a dead bumble bee and decided I would start collecting insects and pin them down like in a museum. All the world would marvel at my vast collection of insect. I looked online for pins and boards and the like and got excited about my new venture into the natural sciences. I would be the new Charlie Darwin making observations on my specimen and become more enlightened and well rounded as a person. I would be invited to gala dinners with high society and talk about science and theology and whiskey.

After a week of this fanciful speculation on my future as a member of the royal society I promptly lost interest. That was a life I would never lead..... the bumble bee is still in a tupperware in my kitchen.

Steers and Queers

This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun. In China they have discovered how to grow dinosaurs in test tubes. If America discovered how to do this they would open a theme park but because China is communist they aren't concerned with financial gain and have deployed them into the army.