Bigger Boat

For some reason I associate 'we're gonna need a bigger boat!' more with the Salsa shark in clerks than with the rubber one in Jaws. They say that if you are attacked by a shark, you should punch it in the nose. This only works though if you have the rest of the jets to back you up. The world of tap and dance is a dangerous place....
Further shark reading:

Jumping the shark, Sharky and George, Sharktopus, Sharks and Jets

Nice Pear

Do pick up lines really work? Will a girl really go home with you if you say the correct combination of cliches and faintly amusing opening lines. Can you really make a connection with someone using recycled jokes instead of your own personality? I would say Yes. With enough WKDs anyone is anyone's and if you didn't contract syphilis, that's a bonus! (If you did, you can at least get yourself on TV by showing your penis to embarrassing bodies. God Bless Television!)

Allergic Reaction

Someday god willing, we will all be replaced by robots and the world will continue as it is today but with more robots (and less people). They will use their robot minds to clear up this planet that we have so fervently destroyed, they will solve the energy crisis, mend that hole in the ozone layer and most importantly create polar bear sanctuaries in the Arctic. After a while the robots will tire of having to fetch and carry for themselves, so they will start growing humans in tubes and putting them to work. Humans will become so popular that there will be one in every household. Eventually they will become so dependent on us that they wont be able to do anything for themselves. That is when we will strike and take back this world of hours. That's global warming pretty much sorted then.

Toilet Humour

Well I’m not sure about this one, I liked it when I drew it but now I’m not so sure (as I said before). I like the green walls for some reason though. Yeah let’s focus on the good points of this comic. The green walls are fantastic! If I had to mark the walls out of 10, I’d definitely give them an 8. They lost a point for looking a bit like pea soup and also a point for not having graffiti on them, like real toilet walls. Actually the more I think about it. They aren’t great are they? I seemed to have missed a trick here and not thought of some hilarious graffiti for the walls. I could have drawn penises (is that the correct spelling of penises? I don’t usually have to spell it out, it’s not often I need to use the plural of that particular word) on them or phone numbers (for a good time) or something. So yeah I give them a 5 out of ten. Also why are all the people in my comics bald? Just seems like laziness to me. That hand dryer drawing seems questionable to me too. I don’t trust it….

Lemon and Vinegar

Here's a terrible drawing I did about lemon and vinegar. It seems that whatever state someone's house is in they always appear with lemon juice and vinegar and rub it all over and it comes up all shiny and new. And smelling of vinegar. And Lemon. This would be the main reason i use kitchen spray and stuff like that.

On a lighter note, I saw the big lady on 'Come Dine With Me' and by the looks of things she pretty much has an alcohol problem. Fix that with your lemon and your vinegar.

The Last Unicorn

For some reason Unicorns have always fascinated me and yet I don't like horses. Maybe its the idea that they don't exist that I like or the fact that it's a horse with a spike. Actually yes, I think that must be it. Animal + spike = awesome. There aren't enough animals with spikes these days. Sure there are plenty with horns but some how that's not as good. Rhino's are pretty good and they have spikes and apart from that (it's really a horn though isn't it?) there's the Narwhal. It has a crazy big spike like a unicorn's, right in the middle of it's head. It's probably the greatest animal living today.

Here's a picture of a Narwhal that I drew to give you an idea how awesome they are.

Here's a picture of Neil Patrick Harris on a unicorn form Harold and Kumar 2

Obligatory Christmas Octopus Guy

It's been a while but I thought I'd make an effort to post this christmassy little number as I drew it last year and didn't get it up in time. My Drawing skills have come on a little bit as I can't help but notice that the Octopus varies wildly in size. Anyway enjoy this little christmas treat.

Hitler Moustache

Just because someone has a Hitler moustache doesn’t mean they’re Hitler. In actual fact I think it’s called a toothbrush moustache so just because Hitler had a toothbrush moustache it doesn’t mean he was a tooth brush. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t though….. hmmm it’s worth looking into. It certainly would explain a lot.

Harbor Master

If would like to lose your job by wasting all your work hours playing a computer game then you may be interested in some of these:

Harbor Master? Lose your job as a harbor master by playing ‘Harbor Master!’
Are you a farmer? Play ‘Farmville’ all day while letting your real crops wilt and your livestock starve!

Musician? Don’t practice on a real guitar, push the 4 coloured buttons in time to the music like a toddler, with ‘Rock band!’

Plumber? Who needs to learn a trade when you can eat mushrooms and jump through pipes with ‘Mario!’

Paranormal Investigator? Give up your day job Derek, who needs Yvette Fielding when you can hunt ghosts with ‘Pac-Man!’

Pigeon fancier? (not sure how much of a job this one is) play ‘Angry birds' and fling birds at pigs!

Unemployed? Enjoy the thrills of looking for a job without actually having to get a job with ‘The Sims!’
Ok so maybe I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel with some of those but still you get my point don’t you?

P.S. Scraping the barrel? Why not throw barrels instead by playing Donkey Kong!!!

Halloween Party

Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
I watched Rosemary’s baby the other night and was a little disappointed. Until the end of course, when everyone started shouting ‘Hail Satan!’ at sporadic intervals. This was hilarious and made the whole 2 hours worth it. This drawing was supposed to be up in time for Halloween but as it turned out I had to make a Zombie Jesus costume for Halloween and you can’t really wear a comic to a Halloween party can you?