Halloween is nearly here so I hope you all have your costumes ready. On previous years I've avoided going out into town due to how busy it can be on Halloween night and how expensive it generally is to drink in bars and clubs rather than at home. This year's different however as I'm going to dress up as a drunk for Halloween. This means I can easily bring my own booze out as part of my costume! Two litre bottle of cider in hand, a bottle of cheap whiskey in a brown paper bag and a couple pint bottles of Stella hanging precariously out of each coat pocket. Genius! Halloween is probably the only night of the year when a homeless drunk can have a decent night out. Begging can get him a couple of quid (or he could liberate some roses from a garden and sell them to fellow drunken revelers to give to their one night stands) and pay his way into a club under the pre tense that he's in costume. Once inside all he has to do is play minesweeper and drink the dregs and half empty drinks left around the darkened venue. He could boogie on down, integrate himself into a party who have ordered a round of shots and swipe one before anyone notices! Come to think about it, Halloween's like Christmas for the homeless.