Conan the Barber

While off with my fractured leg I happened to watch the new Conan film starring that guy off of Game of Thrones.  The film was an enjoyable enough romp but I couldn't help but think that it was lacking something. A little Mufasa /Darth Vader style giant snake cult leader perhaps? Maybe even a Body building Austrian Govenator. No?

That's when I got to thinking, why have they never made a Conan film where he was a barber? I'm pretty there was a book about it. Seems like they're missing a trick.

Hug Monster

Happy Halloween everyone! This comic is autobiographical and based on an actual event that happened to me a few months back. Blood everywhere, absolute nightmare, ruined a perfectly good pair of trousers.

Mr Benn's Greatest Adventure

All I'm saying is that if a man owns a dress up shop and has a moustache like that, there's bound to be a few SS uniforms in the back.......

Moses and the Burning Bush

Yay! It's another awesome tale from the bible! Before Moses became a hardcore Jew he was a proper bad ass. Just look how he smokes that cigarette! His mum clearly told him not to smoke and yet he does it anyway! Fight the system man, fight the system! He also did a bad murder once.

Exodus 2:12

And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.

See what I mean? He was a badass! So don't smoke, kids. Smoking is a gateway drug. Gateway to murder.

Fashion is Murder

Ever wonder what Leatherface does with all those people he kills? Or why he's driven to kill in the first place? Well it's turns out that he does it to make people think. He's actually a life long member of PETA and a patron of the Arts. He has a vast body of thought provoking works, most of which is about man's cruelty to animals. He has created this bag from fashion designer Versace to make us all think about the exploitation and murder of animals just for something to carry our tampons and make up in. Personally I prefer his earlier work which included an inflatable life boat made from the skin of the survivors of the Titanic.

Competition Winner

Not many people know that Mike Myers and Micheal Myers are twin brothers. This is primarily because it isn't true. Wouldn't that be a good ending to Halloween though? They unmask him only find out that he's Austin Powers underneath, making way for a sexy new sequel. Or maybe he gets a new sidekick played by Dana Carvey, they could call it Hallo-Wayne's World.

Pirate Weight Loss

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me! Well no actually. I don't think I'd like to be a pirate. It's long hours and illegal for a start. There's also a distinct lack of oranges and limes. Salt water doesn't taste nice. It's bad luck to have women on board so it'll be a real sausage fest. A pirates life sounds pretty bleak to me and if Muppet's Treasure Island is anything to go by then Cabin fever is pretty likely too. So instead of becoming a pirate I've opted to just listen to Lonely Island's Jack Sparrow song. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate song for me.

Roads

Duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duuhhhhhh! Incase you didn't know, that's the theme tune to back to the future. The best part of the back to the future trilogy is the bit where he returns home to gomez with his new wife who turns out to be a serial killer and then Roger rabbit makes him melt because he was really a cartoon all along.....ah good times

Fight Club

Someone told me once, that you couldn't actually make very good soap out of human fat because the chemical properties of blah blah blah. This kind of spoils the film a bit for me as i can't stop thinking that fight club didn't really happen because you cant make people soap. So the only logical thing to to is hunt down the person who told me this and turn them into people soap, thus restoring the balance to the universe and the credibility of Fight Club.

Gaybots

Well as we all know, today is the day day of the royal wedding! What dress will Kate wear? Will she say I do? Will Prince Phillip make an inappropriate comment to a foreign dignitary?

I thought I'd get into the spirit of things too by posting this Star Wars Comic. If I wasn't in work during the wedding I'd be watching Star Wars. Lovely day for a bit of Star Wars.

Oh and in case you where wondering, she'll wear a white one, yes she will and of course he will.