Mr. White

Well Folks it's been a long ride for those who've traveled with Walter White on his journey from Mr. Chips to Scarface. I'll be sad to see tonights Breaking Bad finale but cant wait to see how it all turns out. I hope Jessie comes out of it a bit better than previous episodes.

Wreck-it Miley

I saw that Miley Cyrus video for wrecking ball the other day. Holy crap Miley has really gone full retard. Seems she has a burning desire to remind everyone all of the time that she has boobies and isn't a little girl any more. 'Hey everyone did you see my nipples in Hanna Montana? No? Well you can now! I'm a big girl and that means reminding everyone by pointing foam fingers at peoples penis's at awards shows and sticking my tongue out! I can also preform oral stimulation on a sledge hammer! Look at me now! I'm naked on a Wrecking Ball! That's the name of of the song! I'm so vulnerable and sad because I'm crying and now I'm naked. Did I mention I was naked? Oh and also I'm a big girl now! I can go pee pee by myself.'

My Neighbour Totoro

Hey guys today's comic is more of a Monday evening comic than a Monday morning one but that house took me friggin' ages so i'll let myself off.  My Neighbour Totoro for the uninitiated is a Studio Ghibli (i guess they are the Japanese Disney?) film that is just bonkers. 2 girls move to a house in the sticks with their dad and it turns out they live beside a giant rabbit type forest spirit thing who makes a big tree grow and then waits for a bus which turns out to be a many legged cat.....actually I'm not sure how to explain it its just bonkers stuff happening all the time. I't's bizarre and needs to be watched.

Who is 'The Batman'?

Ben Affleck eh? I didn't see that coming. To be fair I actually thought the Daredevil movie wasn't awful and Affleck has been making some decent movies lately. Maybe he can do it. There are some things about Christian Bales's performance which aren't the best (like his hilariously gravely voice and his pointy chin rather than the classic square jaw) but he's a terrific Batman. Maybe they've seen something we haven't. He wouldn't have been my first choice but I'll wait and see. Heath Ledger seemed an odd choice for the Joker as I recall. We'll just have to wait and see what the Batfleck has to offer.

Worse Than Mormons

I like to think that when these fellas knocked the door, they were asked 'who's there' and they replied 'doctor'. Thus beginning the greatest knock knock joke ever. Dr Who's fine and all, I like the wee police box and the magic pen with the LED on it, But the fans kinda can be crazy though. Its maybe not some much that the fans love it so much, I think its that a) they are usually younger than most geeks/fanboys and b) they have the full might of the BBC to force it night and day on everyone else. They even have a Dr Who proms night, featuring music from the show! On the upside Dr Who is one of the easier characters to dress up as for halloween and they have found the best way to make the recasting of the main character not only make sense but be integral to the show itself. James Bond has never explained any of that and don't say it's a disguise. I've seen what Connery this constitutes as a discuise for 'blending in' to japanese culture.

PS. Suffice to say, my favourite doctor was Rowan Atkinson.

Magnets

This comic obviously works best if you read Xavier's part in Patrick Stewart's voice. Although I'm guessing you did that automatically. Magneto is a douche who ran a group called 'The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants'. This is the worst possible name for a terrorist organisation. When you put the word evil in the title of your group you're probs gonna attract a certain shady individual.

The Precious

The Goonies and Lord of the Rings are basically the same story. The only difference is that LOTR takes 3 movies to get there and Goonies takes one. Oh and also Goonies has a pirate ship and a theme song by Cyndi Lauper. As far as I can tell these are the only 2 differences I can see.

Below is a picture of Sean Astin in Goonies and LOTR. Check out the link to see what the Goonies are up to now.  Guess which one of them has grown up to be a martial artist. If you said Data, you'd be racist!
http://www.bradyharan.com/goondust/goondust_main.htm

Robocopy

So they're making a Robocop reboot (heh heh reboot, get it?) down in ol' Hollywood and in their infinite wisdom they've decided to make it a PG-13. I find that a bit odd. When you think back to the original among the many memorable scenes is Murphy's (spoiler alert) death scene where he is (spoiler alert) blown to pieces in the most terrifying and bloody fashion (it's also (spoiler alert) hilarious). Seems that a lot of the original charm of Robocop was the over the top ultra-violence of a robotic law man blowing criminals to kingdom come. This new one which I will admit has a lot of promising elements to it, Sam Jackson, Michael Keaton for example (and the suit doesn't look too bad either) has wimped out a bit. I reckon they want to sell a lot of Robocop toys and if its able to be shown to kids then they can sell more toys. I worry that they're missing the point a bit though. The R rated attitude of the original is one of its defining features, the bad guys are real sadistic bastards who get their comeuppance in a delightfully theatrical way. Making a PG-13 Robocop is  like a family friendly 'Human Centipede' cartoon. It kinda misses the point.

Super Mario Bother

Mario first appeared as Jump man in the first Donkey Kong game. Here he plays a carpenter with a pet ape. Apparently mario 'mistreats the ape' (its all on wikipedia folks, it wouldn't lie to us would it?) so Donkey Kong kidnaps his girlfriend Pauline and throws barrels at him (seems logical). What the hell is going on with that plot? You play a 'carpenter' who owns an 'ape'? If i had an ape i'd be shit scared of that thing. I wouldn't be casually mistreating it like Mario. Animal cruelty = rampaging apes is what this game teaches us if anything. I would have thought the hero in the game would be the mistreated ape rather than jump man. Breaking free of the shackles of slavery and oppression and finding someone to love. Seems Mario's just getting what he deserves. 
This smacks of a game that was made first and then they had to come up with the backstory after. At least it has a story we can understand. You should try playing Halo. I'm not even sure anyone knows whats going on there. Just shoot the aliens that's all you need to know. They stole a pack of cigarettes from the president of space or something.

Master Chief vs Master Chef

I'd really like to see Master Chef's Greg Wallace go at it with Halo's Master Chief. I recon Greg would have a good chance. No wait a minute of course he wouldn't. Master Chief would crush him like a bug and blast a hole in his face. But who could be mad at Greg? He's so jolly. Master Chief that's who. Lets hope they never meet. I'll give him Anthony Warroll Thompson's number instead.