Magnets

This comic obviously works best if you read Xavier's part in Patrick Stewart's voice. Although I'm guessing you did that automatically. Magneto is a douche who ran a group called 'The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants'. This is the worst possible name for a terrorist organisation. When you put the word evil in the title of your group you're probs gonna attract a certain shady individual.

The Precious

The Goonies and Lord of the Rings are basically the same story. The only difference is that LOTR takes 3 movies to get there and Goonies takes one. Oh and also Goonies has a pirate ship and a theme song by Cyndi Lauper. As far as I can tell these are the only 2 differences I can see.

Below is a picture of Sean Astin in Goonies and LOTR. Check out the link to see what the Goonies are up to now.  Guess which one of them has grown up to be a martial artist. If you said Data, you'd be racist!
http://www.bradyharan.com/goondust/goondust_main.htm

Robocopy

So they're making a Robocop reboot (heh heh reboot, get it?) down in ol' Hollywood and in their infinite wisdom they've decided to make it a PG-13. I find that a bit odd. When you think back to the original among the many memorable scenes is Murphy's (spoiler alert) death scene where he is (spoiler alert) blown to pieces in the most terrifying and bloody fashion (it's also (spoiler alert) hilarious). Seems that a lot of the original charm of Robocop was the over the top ultra-violence of a robotic law man blowing criminals to kingdom come. This new one which I will admit has a lot of promising elements to it, Sam Jackson, Michael Keaton for example (and the suit doesn't look too bad either) has wimped out a bit. I reckon they want to sell a lot of Robocop toys and if its able to be shown to kids then they can sell more toys. I worry that they're missing the point a bit though. The R rated attitude of the original is one of its defining features, the bad guys are real sadistic bastards who get their comeuppance in a delightfully theatrical way. Making a PG-13 Robocop is  like a family friendly 'Human Centipede' cartoon. It kinda misses the point.

Super Mario Bother

Mario first appeared as Jump man in the first Donkey Kong game. Here he plays a carpenter with a pet ape. Apparently mario 'mistreats the ape' (its all on wikipedia folks, it wouldn't lie to us would it?) so Donkey Kong kidnaps his girlfriend Pauline and throws barrels at him (seems logical). What the hell is going on with that plot? You play a 'carpenter' who owns an 'ape'? If i had an ape i'd be shit scared of that thing. I wouldn't be casually mistreating it like Mario. Animal cruelty = rampaging apes is what this game teaches us if anything. I would have thought the hero in the game would be the mistreated ape rather than jump man. Breaking free of the shackles of slavery and oppression and finding someone to love. Seems Mario's just getting what he deserves. 
This smacks of a game that was made first and then they had to come up with the backstory after. At least it has a story we can understand. You should try playing Halo. I'm not even sure anyone knows whats going on there. Just shoot the aliens that's all you need to know. They stole a pack of cigarettes from the president of space or something.

Master Chief vs Master Chef

I'd really like to see Master Chef's Greg Wallace go at it with Halo's Master Chief. I recon Greg would have a good chance. No wait a minute of course he wouldn't. Master Chief would crush him like a bug and blast a hole in his face. But who could be mad at Greg? He's so jolly. Master Chief that's who. Lets hope they never meet. I'll give him Anthony Warroll Thompson's number instead.

Popcorn Fail

In reality this wouldn't really work the best would it? You'd be sitting there for ages with your lad in a box of popcorn hoping she'd touch it, then when the movie is over you'd have to somehow get everything back where it should be.

Pretty Fly

I have a dog that looks exactly like Seth Brundle from the fly. Actually that's not true he looks nothing like Jeff Goldblum , he looks like Brundlefly. Both man and fly ceased to exist when they stepped into that tele pod and Brundlefly was born. Something like this must have happened when my dog was born too.

Gold Digger

I think the joke with this particular song is that Kanye West is actually implying that said woman IS a gold digger. Kanye West (for the uninitiated) is a hilarious music making creature who has just had a baby with one or possibly all of the Kardashians. Hey also has a new album out called Yeezus which is a combination of the word Jesus and Yeezy (which is one of Kanye's nicknames that nobody uses but himself). I get the impression that he thinks if he uses it enough then it'll catch on. I got word for you Kanye no one ever called Prince 'Symbol'. I reckon he calls his wang Yeenis too.

God Hates Fags

In the interest of free speech I'm unable to look at the Westboro Baptist Church's website 'godhatesfags.com' on Translink's wifi service so this post is made up of information off wikipedia but I'm sure there's plenty more insane hilarious stuff on their website. They are widely described as a hate group and have been quoted as saying things like

'Jews are the real nazis' and ‘All the nations of the world would soon march on Israel', and that they would be 'led by President Barack Obama’ (who is the Antichrist and in league with Satan and the pope in an unholy trinity btw).

They seem to be absolutely OBSESSED with gays and sodomy and the like, OBSESSED. All I'm saying is that anyone I know who's that preoccupied with homosexual activities is gay themselves. People who like to cook generally aren't anorexic, yeah?

They picket all kinds of things to get media attention, mostly funerals (what god would have wanted).
They picketed Michael Jackson's funeral and recorded an adaptation of 'We are the world' called 'God hates the world'. They must have some fun times eh? Making colourful signs with pictures of men bumming on them, thinking up witty slogans and recording pop songs with offencive lyrics. (I hope the Jackson estate got a cut of any money that made). They seem like an all round bunch of swell guys and gals.

An Inconvenient Truth

I have pictures to prove this but the government took them off me. They were turning faeries into liquid and doves into soap. I also have pictures of how they make Lion bars, Caterpillar boots and you don't wanna know how they make Red Bull.