Monday, 22 July 2013
Mario first appeared as Jump man in the first Donkey Kong game. Here he plays a carpenter with a pet ape. Apparently mario 'mistreats the ape' (its all on wikipedia folks, it wouldn't lie to us would it?) so Donkey Kong kidnaps his girlfriend Pauline and throws barrels at him (seems logical). What the hell is going on with that plot? You play a 'carpenter' who owns an 'ape'? If i had an ape i'd be shit scared of that thing. I wouldn't be casually mistreating it like Mario. Animal cruelty = rampaging apes is what this game teaches us if anything. I would have thought the hero in the game would be the mistreated ape rather than jump man. Breaking free of the shackles of slavery and oppression and finding someone to love. Seems Mario's just getting what he deserves.
This smacks of a game that was made first and then they had to come up with the backstory after. At least it has a story we can understand. You should try playing Halo. I'm not even sure anyone knows whats going on there. Just shoot the aliens that's all you need to know. They stole a pack of cigarettes from the president of space or something.
Monday, 15 July 2013
I'd really like to see Master Chef's Greg Wallace go at it with Halo's Master Chief. I recon Greg would have a good chance. No wait a minute of course he wouldn't. Master Chief would crush him like a bug and blast a hole in his face. But who could be mad at Greg? He's so jolly. Master Chief that's who. Lets hope they never meet. I'll give him Anthony Warroll Thompson's number instead.